Andisenalo ithemba. Ndizinzulu ngaphakathi kwam, kwii-antipode zoluvo lwam, umphefumlo wam okanye nantoni na egutyungelweyo lulusu lwam. Kodwa andimi ethubeni. Ngaphantsi kokuba kwam kukho ulwandle, olukhulu njengoko luzolile kwaye lumnyama.
Ndibhale onke amabali am kunye neenoveli zam, into endala endiyithandayo. Ngamabali am ndaphakamisa bonke ubomi bam obunokwenzeka, ndinobunzima benye yezinto ezizezinye, ndihamba ngendlela nganye ekhomba kwindawo endiya kuyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo yiyo loo nto ndingenanto iseleyo. Ndidiniwe.
Ukunyathela kwam kundikhokelela ngaphandle kwezitrato ezingaziwayo kwisixeko endandihlala kuso. Umntu othile undibulisa encumile, kodwa ndiziva ngathi ndixubekile phakathi kobuso obungaqhelekanga ukuba ndingabikho mntu wumbi. Ndiyaqonda kuphela ukuba isiphelo sibalekiselwa kwisandi seempempe zam, ezenza ingoma elusizi ephuculweyo.
Ndihamba phakathi kweenkumbulo zakudala, ezithathwe ekuziqhelaniseni nobomi obaqala kudala. Baceba kwi-limbo yememori yam ye-sepia yemifanekiso eneenkcazo zobuxoki, ukudibanisa amaxesha ekunokwenzeka ukuba khange kwenzeke.
Elona candelo likude libonakala licolile, ngelixa ndizama ukucinga ngezi zifundo ziphambili namhlanje kubonakala ngathi khange nditye kwiminyaka eliqela. Ndiphawula ngelizwi eliphantsi: "isobho soonobumba."
Ndiza kwipaki endala. Ndithi "mdala" kuba ndiyaqikelela ukuba bendikhe ndakhona okungenani elinye ixesha. Iinyawo zam ziyakhawulezisa ukunyathela kwam. Ngoku kubonakala ngathi ngawo onke amaxesha babeyibekile indlela. Bahamba beqhutywa lithuku "elidala".
Amagama amabini ahluthwe engqondweni yam: UCarolina no-Oak, ngovuyo kangangokuba bayangxola ulusu lwam kwaye bavuse uncumo lwam.
Undilindile, kwakhona, emthunzini womthi wekhulu leminyaka. Ndiyazi ukuba yenzeka rhoqo kusasa. Sisicelo sam sokugqibela sokuba libanjwa, kuphela kwelam icala lilungelo eliphindaphindwe yonke imihla xa ujongene nesigwebo se-Alzheimer. Ndiyakwazi ukuba ngam kwakhona ngaphezulu kwesi sigwebo sikhohlakeleyo sokulibala.
Amanyathelo am aphelisa ukonwabisa kwabo phambi kweCarolina yam endiyithandayo, kufutshane kakhulu namehlo akhe, ezolile nangona kukho yonke into.
"Kulungile sithandwa"
Njengokuba endiphuza esidleleni, ukukhanya kuwela okwexeshana elwandle, njengokuphuma nje okufutshane nokumangalisayo. Ndiziva ndiphila kwakhona.
Ukuzalwa ayisiyonto nje yokufika kweli hlabathi okokuqala.
"Ngaba sinesobho loonobumba namhlanje?"