Izingalo zesiphambano sami

Ephreli 20, 1969. Usuku lwami lokuzalwa lwamashumi ayisishiyagalombili

Namuhla ngineminyaka engamashumi ayisishiyagalombili ubudala.

Noma ingeke isebenze njengesihlawulelo sezono zami ezesabekayo, ngingasho ukuthi angisafani, ngiqala ngegama lami. Igama lami nginguFriedrich Strauss manje.

Futhi angizimisele ukweqa noma ibuphi ubulungiswa, angikwazi. Ngonembeza ngikhokha inhlawulo yami nsuku zonke ezintsha. "Umshikashika wami"Ngabe ubufakazi obubhaliwe bokuphambana kwami ​​ngenkathi manje ngizama ukuthola ukuthi yini okusele ngemuva kokuvuka kabuhlungu ekulahlweni kwami.

Isikweletu sami kubulungiswa babantu akunangqondo ukusiqoqa kulamathambo amadala. Ngingazivumela ngidliwe yizisulu uma bengazi ukuthi buqeda lobu buhlungu, lobo buhlungu obedlulele nobugxilile, obudala, obudala, obunamathela ezimpilweni zansuku zonke zomama, obaba, izingane, amadolobha wonke obekungaba yinto enhle kakhulu ukube angizalwanga.

Angazi noma bekufanele ngabe ngazalwa yini, kepha njalo ekuseni lapho ngivuka ngicabanga kabusha umbono wokuthi into efanele ukuyenza bekungaba ukuzibulala kule ndlu engaphansi komhlaba. Ngaba nalelo thuba lokufa ngasikhathi sinye futhi angizange ngihudulwe umzuzwana ngamunye wempilo yakamuva leyo nhlekelele eyayifuna ukunginika yona.

Futhi isiphetho sibonakala sithathe ubulungiswa baso, yonke le minyaka iqukethe izinsuku zobuhlungu, imizuzu ephindwe esikhathini esidlule esakhiwe izinkumbulo ezimbi, imizuzwana exhunyaniswe nobunzima obuqhubekayo bokwazi ukuthi bengingomunye wabalingiswa abanyanyeka kakhulu. .

Ngiyaziduduza kancane ngokucabanga ukuthi uvalo oludale konke ngabe lusindile kimi, belukhona njalo. Kwakuyinyoni eyisipoki neyesabekayo eyandiza phezu kweYurophu ifuna umholi omusha lapho yayizohlala khona. Ungitholile, futhi uzophinde athole abanye ngokuzayo, kunoma yiliphi izwekazi, kwenye indawo.

Ngokuqondene nalokhu, enye impilo yami, konke kwaqala ngo-Ephreli 19, 1945, ngosuku olungaphambi kokuthi iButho Elibomvu livimbezele iBerlin. UMartin Bormann, unobhala wami, ukuqinisekisile lokho ebesikulindele, ukuhamba kwami ​​ezweni kwavunyelwana futhi kwahlelwa. Ngicabanga ukuthi ubuNazi bungaba nethemba lokuthi imbangela yami, imbangela yethu, izophinde ivele ngaphansi kwengalo yensimbi eyelulwe ngesikhathi esifanele, eminyakeni edlule nakunoma iyiphi indawo ekude.

Ingxenye enentshisekelo yababambisene nathi abasinqobile, bacabanga ukuthi ngizophunyuka ngokuphila kwami ​​ngiphuce igama lami, ithonya lami, futhi ngibe neminyaka engamashumi ayisithupha, ukuze ngithole ulwazi olukhulu lwezikhali zobuchwepheshe zebutho lethu. Impela imininingwane yangaphakathi iza ngentengo ephezulu kubo.

Izinsolo ezalandela ngokuphela kokuphela kwami ​​zazalelwa eSoviet Union futhi zagxila e-United States. Ukubambisana okunjalo okuphoqelelwe nokungakhululeki kwamandla amabili aphikisanayo ukuketula uMbuso Wesithathu akuzange kumelele okuhle kwanoma yini ehlala njalo.

Ukungathembani kwaqubuka engqungqutheleni yasePotsdam ngoJulayi 17 walowo nyaka ngo-1945. Kulowo mbuthano wabadla izambane likapondo, uChurchill, umpristi wokugcina waseNgilandi, wadlula nje ukuqoqa ingxenye yombuso wakhe; UStalin wayeqiniseka ngokubaleka kwami; futhi uTruman wafihla ukuthi wayekade engumgqugquzeli wayo.

I-American OSS yalowo owandulela lowo uRoosevelt yaklonyeliswa nguTruman ngemuva kwalokho ngokufakwa kwayo ezikhungweni ze-US, ngaphansi kwegama elithi CIA. Umongameli ngamunye omusha waseYankee wenziwa ukuthi aqonde, ngendlela engcono kakhulu, isidingo sezidumbu zezobunhloli ezine-blanche yamakhadi emsebenzini wazo. UNkulunkulu uyazi ukuthi yini leyo ejensi ephenya namhlanje.

Ekuqaleni, ngoMeyi 2, 1945, lapho abaseSoviet bangena eKhansela, babenelisekile ngokwamukelwa kwezidumbu ezagcina sezishisiwe, okwakuthiwa ezika-Eva nezami. Izinkomba zamazinyo ebesizilungisile, ngosizo nokuqondiswa yi-OSS, zisebenzile, kodwa isikhashana.

Abaphenyi baseSoviet bathungatha odokotela bamazinyo ukuze baqinisekise ukuthi umzimba wami ungubani. Kubo, abanokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima kakhulu kunabaholi bezempi abangene okokuqala ngqa, bekusolisa ukuthi besikunakekele kanjani ukucekela phansi amafayili nempahla kulo lonke iKhansela, ngaphandle kokubonisana nodokotela lapho kuvela khona izinkomba.

Umfana othunyelwe yi-OSS ongivakashele phakathi nezinsuku zokuqala ngemuva kokweqa kwami, futhi oqinisekise imininingwane esiyithengise kubo njengesiqinisekiso sangemva kokuthengisa, naye wangigcina nginolwazi lwakamuva ngayo yonke into. Ujabule ngokungitshela ngemibuzo engaphumelelanga yamaBomvu, njengoba akubeka.

Ngakho-ke ezinsukwini ezimbalwa emva kokwehlulwa kwethu, ngoJulayi 17, 1945, ngenkathi ababambisene nabo bephoqelekile behleli ePotsdam ukuqala izingxoxo ngenhloso yokuphatha iJalimane, uStalin, nomholi wakhe owayenenkani yokulwa nobudlova, wakhamuluka: “UHitler uyaphila, ubalekele eSpain. noma i-Argentina ”. Ngaleso sisho impi ebandayo yaqala impela.

Isithunywa se-OSS sithe ngingakhathazeki ngosesho lwami. Amasosha aseMelika abesebenzisana ngokugcwele namaSoviet, ehlukumeza ofakazi, edonsa intambo yalokhu okungenzeka abaleke futhi ayilahla ngokuphelele.

Yile ndlela engangiqonda ngayo ukuthi i-American OSS yazihambela yodwa, izimele embuthweni wezwe layo, ngaphezu komongameli bamanje nabesikhathi esizayo. Bona, i-OSS baphathe imininingwane yangempela futhi basebenza ngaphezu kwakho konke.

Eminyakeni engamashumi amabili nambili kamuva, ngaphandle kokunikezwa kwezomnotho okungayeki ukuza, angisazi lutho ngalabo bantu abavela ku-OSS, ngokusungulwa kwabo okulandelayo njenge-CIA, noma nganoma ubani. Ngicabanga ukuthi bazolinda nje ukufa kwemvelo kungifikele okungavusi ukusola okuncane.

Angazi, angikwazi ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zalabo bafana abagudluza umhlaba namuhla. Ngizohlala ngingumfana odumile, okusele kwesilo. Mhlawumbe zimbi kakhulu futhi ukungabi nabulungisa kwamanje kwenziwa emahhovisi abo, lapho le planethi igcina ukulinganisela kwayo kungazinzile. Balawula lokho kwesaba okudala okwathi ngelinye ilanga kwangiphatha, ithuluzi lokunqoba intando ngobuningi.

Abafuna ukukhoseliswa engikanye nabo banenhlanhla, abahlanganyeli nezilingo zami ezijulile zempilo. Kubo, lokho okwedlule okubavuselelayo kuba ngaphezu kwakho konke ubuntwana bethenda. Kumele ukuthi ukufana phakathi kwezinsuku zokuqala nezokugcina zomuntu akubonakaliswanga nje kuphela ngokungabi namandla kokulawulwa kwama-sphincters kepha futhi nasekuphazamisekeni kwezinzwa. Ngamanabukeni abo amasha sha okulwa nokuvuza kanye namaconsi abo okugcina okucabanga, bona, amaqabane ami amadala, babuyela epharadesi okungahle kwenzeke kulo: ubuntwana.

Kepha engikudlulile akuyona impilo ejwayelekile engifisa sengathi ngabe ngiyiphile. Konke, ngisho nobuntwana bami, kumbozwe ngokubomvu nokumhlophe kwefulegi, nangengalo zesiphambano lapho, angazi kanjani, ngakwazi ukuzikhonkotha ngentando yami.

Ngiyazi kuphela ukuthi kuye kufike isikhathi lapho okwedlule kuhlehla kuye, kuze kube kuba sesikhathini. Manje konke engikuhlangabezane nakho kungivakashela futhi, njengomshushisi okwazile ukungishushisa ngokubulawa kwabantu, ngesigwebo sokugcina kuphela nesisebenza kahle kakhulu sokusondela ekufeni kwami.

Kubantu abadala njengami, impilo iba ngumzuzu omfushane, "namuhla sekwephuze kakhulu futhi kusasa ngeke ngibe nesikhathi." Kusukela le movie ikhishwe ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezedlule 2001: i-space odyssey, Ngithole ukufana okusha phakathi kokuguga okonakele kwanoma ngubani kithi kanye nezigcawu zokugcina zalowo usomkhathi ohlukaniswe phakathi kwempilo, ukufa nobuphakade egumbini elinesizungu nelikhanyayo lekhulu leshumi nesishiyagalombili, athuthelwa endaweni ethile endaweni ethile ethule . Umehluko kuphela ukuthi igumbi lami liphansi kakhulu, alinamamitha ayi-15, kufaka phakathi igumbi lokugezela langaphakathi elingenamnyango ukuze ogogo nomkhulu bangenzi umsindo ngesikhathi sokuchama njalo ebusuku.

Iminyaka engamashumi amathathu edlule, ngo-1939 lapho ngineminyaka engamashumi amahlanu, ngamemezela iholide likazwelonke eJalimane. Ngithola ama-goosebumps lapho ngikhumbula imibhoshongo yokuhlonishwa kwami ​​nge-Ost-West Achse, isinyathelo esidumazayo nesesabekayo samasosha, amabhanela amaNazi kuyo yonke leyo ndawo eseMpumalanga naseNtshonalanga yedolobha.

Kepha ukubhoboza kwamanje kwesikhumba sami ukwethuka okumsulwa, i-vertigo. Ngicabanga ukuthi i-ego yami yashaya uphahla lapho. Inkinga ukuthi ihlale iminyaka embalwa.

Umuntu akenzelwanga udumo. Iphutha lilele kumaGreki, avusa eNtshonalanga umcabango wokuthi uhlobo oluthile lonkulunkulu luhlala kule planethi. UDon Quixote kuphela obuyise ukukhanya ukusenza sibone ukuthi siyahlanya sicabanga ukuthi siphila ama-epics ekukhohlisweni kwethu.

Noma kunjalo, uma kungaba usizo, ngiyaxolisa.

Manje usungathenga I-Arms of My Cross, inoveli ethi Juan Herranz, lapha: