Iingalo zomnqamlezo wam isahluko se- I-

Iingalo zomnqamlezo wam
cofa incwadi

Epreli 20, 1969. Iminyaka yam yokuzalwa kwamashumi asibhozo

Namhlanje ndineminyaka engamashumi asibhozo ubudala.

Nangona ayinakuze icamagushele izono zam ezoyikekayo, ndingatsho ukuba andisafani, ukuqala ngegama lam. Igama lam ndinguFriedrich Strauss ngoku.

Kwaye andizimisele kubaleka nabuphi na ubulungisa, andinako. Ngesazela ndihlawula isohlwayo sam yonke imihla. "Umzabalazo wam"Ngaba obu bubungqina obubhaliweyo bokuphambana kwam ngelixa ndizama ukuqonda eyona nto ishiyekileyo emva kokuvuka kabuhlungu ekugwetyweni kwam.

Ityala lam kubulungisa babantu ayinangqondo yokuyiqokelela kula mathambo amadala. Ndingazivumela ukuba ndityiwe ngamaxhoba ukuba bendisazi ukuba iyazinciphisa iintlungu, ukuba zintlungu ezixineneyo kunye nezindala, ukubindala, ukubambelela kubomi bemihla ngemihla boomama, ootata, abantwana, zonke iidolophu ekuyeyona nto ilungileyo ukuba ndandingazalwanga.

Andazi ukuba bekufanele ukuba ndazalwa na, kodwa rhoqo kusasa xa ndivuka ndicinga kwakhona into yokuba into elungileyo ukuyenza inokuba kukuzibulala kule ndlu. Ndandinalo elo thuba lokufa ngaxeshanye kwaye ndingarhuqwa ngumzuzu ngamnye wobomi bam obulandelayo ukuba ikamva lifuna ukundinika.

Kwaye ikamva libonakala ngathi lithathe ubulungisa balo, yonke le minyaka idityaniswa neentsuku zentlungu, imizuzu ephilayo edlulileyo eyakhiwe ziinkumbulo ezimbi, imizuzwana edityaniswa kukubandezeleka okuqhubekayo kokwazi ukuba ndingomnye wabalinganiswa abathandekayo. .

Ndizithuthuzela kancinane ngokucinga ukuba uloyiko oluye lwenza konke ngesele luphile kum, belusoloko lukhona. Yayiyintaka engenangqondo neyesabekayo eyabhabha ngaphaya kweYurophu ikhangela inkokeli entsha apho yayiza kuhlala khona. Undifumene, kwaye uya kuphinda afumane abanye kwixa elizayo, nakweliphi na ilizwekazi, kwenye indawo.

Ngokuphathelene noku, obunye ubomi bam, konke kwaqala ngo-Epreli 19, 1945, kusuku olungaphambi kokuba uMkhosi Olubomvu ungqinge iBerlin. UMartin Bormann, unobhala wam, ukuqinisekisile oko besikulindele, ukuphuma kwam elizweni kwavunyelwana kwaye kwalungiswa. Ndicinga ukuba ubuNazi buya kuba nethemba lokuba injongo yam, injongo yethu, iyakuvela phantsi kwengalo yentsimbi eyolulwe ngexesha elifanelekileyo, kwiminyaka kamva nakweyiphi na indawo ekude.

Inxalenye enomdla yamanyano asoyisileyo, acinga ukuba ndiza kusinda ngobomi bam ndihluthiwe igama lam, impembelelo yam, kwaye ndiphantse ndikwiminyaka engamashumi amathandathu, nditshintshela kulwazi olukhulu lwezixhobo zeteknoloji ngomkhosi wethu. Ngokuqinisekileyo ulwazi lwangaphakathi luza ngexabiso eliphezulu kubo.

Izikrokro ezalandelayo malunga nokufa kwam zazalelwa eSoviet Union kwaye zajolisa eUnited States. Umanyano olunje olunyanzelekileyo nolungathandekiyo lwamagunya amabini aphikisanayo wokubhukuqa iRich Reich aluzange lubonakalise okuhle kwinto ehlala ihleli.

Kwabakho ukungathembani kwinkomfa yasePotsdam ngoJulayi 17 waloo nyaka u-1945. Kuloo ndibano yabaqokeleli-zidliwayo, uChurchill, umpiriti wokugqibela waseNgilani, wadlula nje eqokelela indawo yobukhosi bakhe; UStalin wayeqinisekile ngokubaleka kwam; kwaye uTruman wafihla ukuba wayekhe wayikhuthaza.

I-OSS yaseMelika eyandulelayo uRoosevelt yanikezelwa nguTruman emva koko kunye nokumiswa kwayo kwangoko njengearhente yezobuntlola yaseMelika, phantsi kwegama elithi CIA. Umongameli ngamnye omtsha waseYankee wenziwa ukuba aqonde, ngeyona ndlela ibalaseleyo, isidingo semibutho yezobuntlola eneblack blanche emsebenzini wabo. UThixo uyazi ukuba yintoni iarhente ephanda ngayo namhlanje.

Ekuqaleni, nge-2 kaMeyi, ngo-1945, xa iiSoviet zangena eChancellery, zoneliseka kukwamkelwa kwemizimba eyathi ekugqibeleni yatshiswa, ekucingelwa ukuba yeyakwaEva neyam. Ukuchongwa kwamazinyo ebesikulungiselele, ngoncedo kunye nokubekwa esweni kwe-OSS, kusebenze, kodwa okwexeshana.

Abaphandi baseSoviet bafunisisa oogqirha bam ukuze baqinisekise ukuba ndingubani umzimba wam. Kubo, abanamava nangqongqo ngakumbi kuneenkokheli zomkhosi ezazingenele okokuqala, yayikrokrela indlela esasikhathalele ngayo ukutshabalalisa iifayile kunye nezinto zabo kuyo yonke iChancellery, ngaphandle kokubonisana kwezonyango apho kwavela khona imikhondo.

Inkwenkwe ye-OSS eyayindityelele ngeentsuku zokuqala emva kokubaleka, kwaye ingqinele ulwazi esiluthengise kubo njengesiqinisekiso sasemva kokuthengisa, nayo yandigcina ndinolwazi ngayo yonke into. Wayevuya ukundixelela ngemibuzo engaphumelelanga yeRed, njengoko wayeyibeka.

Ke kwiintsuku ezimbalwa emva kokoyiswa kwethu, ngoJulayi 17, 1945, njengoko amahlakani anyanzelekileyo ahlala ePotsdam ukuba aqalise iingxoxo ngenjongo yokulawula iJamani, uStalin, kunye nenkokheli yakhe yokurhabaxa, wathi: "UHitler uyaphila, ubalekele eSpain okanye Ajentina ". Ngaloo mabinzana imfazwe ebandayo yaqala ngokwenene.

Umthunywa we-OSS uthe ungakhathazeki ngophando lwam. Umkhosi waseMelika wawusebenzisana ngokupheleleyo neeSoviet, ungcungcuthekisa amangqina, utsala umsonto wokubaleka okunokwenzeka kwaye uwulahla ngokupheleleyo.

Le yindlela endandiqonda ngayo ukuba i-American OSS ihambe yodwa, izimele emkhosini welizwe layo, ngaphezulu kwexesha elidlulileyo, abongameli bangoku nabangomso. Bona, i-OSS iphathe ulwazi lokwenyani kwaye yasebenza ngaphezulu kwako konke.

Iminyaka engamashumi amabini anesibini kamva, ngaphandle kwesibhengezo soqoqosho esingayeki ukuza, andisazi kwanto ngabo bantu be-OSS, malunga nokusekwa kwabo njenge-CIA, okanye nangubani na. Ndicinga ukuba baya kulinda nje ukufa kwendalo ukuba bandifumane okungavusi rhanelo.

Andazi, andinako ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zala makhwenkwe ahambisa umhlaba namhlanje. Ndiza kuhlala ndiyindoda engathandekiyo, okuseleyo kwesigebenga. Mhlawumbi zimbi kakhulu kwaye uninzi lokungabikho kokusesikweni okwenziweyo kwiiofisi zabo, apho lo mhlaba ugcina uzinzo olungazinzanga. Balawula uloyiko oludala lokuba ngenye imini ndibenaso, isixhobo sokweyisa ukuthanda ngokubanzi.

Abafuna indawo yam yokukhosela banethamsanqa, ababelani ngezilingo zam ezinzulu zobomi. Kubo, ixesha elidlulileyo elibuyela kubo liba ngaphezulu kwako konke ubuntwana bethenda. Kuya kufuneka ukuba ukufana phakathi kweentsuku zokuqala nezokugqibela zomntu kuboniswe kungekuphela kukungabikho kolawulo lwe-sphincters kodwa nakwisifo se-neurons. Ngotshaba lwabo olutsha lokulwa nokuvuza kunye nedriphu yabo yokugqibela yesizathu, bona, amaqabane am amadala, babuyela kwiparadesi ekuphela kwayo enokubakho: ebuntwaneni.

Kodwa ubomi bam bangaphambili abububo ubomi obuqhelekileyo endinqwenela ukuba ngoku ndibuphile. Yonke into, kwanobuntwana bam, igutyungelwe bubomvu nomhlophe kwiflegi, nangengalo ezinqamlezileyo zomnqamlezo apho, andazi ukuba ndenze njani, ndakwazi ukuzibethelela ngentando yam.

Ndiyazi kuphela ukuba kuza ixesha apho ixesha elidlulileyo libuyele kuye, lide libekho. Ngoku yonke into endiyifumanileyo indindwendwela kwakhona, njengomtshutshisi oye wakwazi ukunditshutshisa ngenxa yokubulawa kwabantu, ngesona sigwebo sisebenzayo nesona sisebenzayo sokufa kwam.

Kubantu abadala abafana nam, ubomi buba ngumzuzu omfutshane, "namhlanje kusemva kakhulu kwaye ngomso andizukuba nalo ixesha." Ukusukela kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo imovie yakhutshwa Ngo-2001: i-odyssey yendawo, Ndifumene ukufana okutsha phakathi kokuguga okuwohlokileyo nakubani na wethu kunye nemiboniso yokugqibela kasomajukujuku oqhekezwe phakathi kobomi, ukufa nobomi obungunaphakade kwigumbi elinesithukuthezi nelikhazimlayo lenkulungwane yeshumi elinesibhozo. . Umahluko kuphela kukuba igumbi lam lithobeke kakhulu, akunamitha ezili-15, kubandakanya igumbi lokuhlambela elingaphandle elingenamnyango ukuze ootatomkhulu nabakhulu bangangxoli ngexesha lokuchama kwethu ebusuku.

Ngokuchanekileyo kwiminyaka engamashumi amathathu eyadlulayo, ngo-1939 xa ndandineminyaka engamashumi amahlanu, ndazisa iholide yesizwe eJamani. Ndifumana i-goosebumps xa ndikhumbula imingcelele yozuko lwam nge-Ost-West Achse, iindudumo nezothusayo-inyathelo lomkhosi, amabhanti amaNazi kuwo wonke loo mmandla weMpuma-Ntshona wesixeko.

Kodwa ukungxama okwangoku kolusu lwam kukungcangcazela, i-vertigo. Ndicinga ukuba i-ego yam ibetha uphahla apho. Ingxaki kukuba yahlala iminyaka embalwa.

Umntu akenzelwanga uzuko. Isiphoso silele kumaGrike, avuse eNtshona ngengcinga yokuba kukho uhlobo loothixo abahlala kulo mhlaba. NguDon Quixote kuphela obuyise ukukhanya ukusenza sibone ukuba siyaphambana xa sicinga ukuba siphila kwii-epics ekukhohlisweni kwethu.

Ngapha koko, ukuba inokusetyenziswa, uxolo.

Ngoku ungathenga Iingalo zoMnqamlezo wam, inoveli ethi Juan Herranz, Apha:

Iingalo zomnqamlezo wam
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