Sesiphi isihloko esingcono esinekratshi kancinci kunale? Ngaphambi kokuba ufe, ewe, kwiiyure nje ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba uyichole, uya kuyibamba uluhlu lwakho ekufuneka ulufunde kwaye uya kuwela oyena mthengisi ungcono ka-Belén Esteban ovala isangqa sokufunda sobomi bakho… (yayiyintlekisa, i-macabre kunye nesiqhulo esinegazi)
Akukho nto incinci ukwenza iziqhulo malunga nokungenwa kuba isihloko ndicetyiswe nje yenye iblogger ekwazinikele ekubhaleni ngeencwadi. Kwaye kukho uluhlu oluninzi kunye nothelekiso kwi-Intanethi ukuba ukujolisa phezulu akukho enye inketho kodwa ukubetha umfundi ophakathi kwaye uthi: heyi, mhlobo! Ubusazi na ukuba awunakoyisa ungakhange uzifunde ezi ncwadi zi-3, 5 okanye ezili-15?
Ke apha sihamba ngovavanyo lwam oluthile kuncwadi olugqithileyo. Kakhulu kuba... ngubani owayeza kuGoogle: «iincwadi zokufunda ngaphambi kokuba ufe» Ukuba awunayo imbono yokuzinikela kuhambo lokugqibela?
Ndiyathemba ukuba unexesha elincinci lokundihoya. Ukuba uneeyure ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba ushiye iforamu, kuya kuthatha imizuzu embalwa ukuba ulahleke apha.
Kwaye emva koko ungqengqe ebhedini yakho ukuze ujongane nezifundo ezibalulekileyo. Okunye ukufunda okungayi kukuqinisekisa ngezulu, kodwa oko kuya kukubonelela ngobukrelekrele bokwenza umsebenzi wakho wasekhaya wenziwe kakuhle. Ke uyakonwabela isizathu esibuhlungu njenge-narcotic yokudibanisa, ngaphambi kokuba uphume apha kuyo yonke indawo. Quixote ngaphambi kokugqibela kunye nokuphela kobumnandi bobomi bakhe.
Iincwadi ezibalulekileyo zembali yoncwadi
Iingalo zomnqamlezo wam
Ndim lo Paco Threshold kwaye ndiza kucebisa incwadi yam, yiyo loo nto size. Yi-uchrony apho uHitler esixelela ukuba kwenzeka ntoni ebomini bakhe emva kokuba esindile kwigumbi elingaphantsi komhlaba. Umfo odume kakubi, indoda etyiwa ziintshaba zayo...
Andizange ndibhale into enje kwaye soze ndiphinde. Kuba eyam yeyona noveli eyimfihlakalo, intsomi yesayensi, amabali kunye nokugqwesa okungaphumeleliyo kombhali ongaphumelelanga. Lowo nangona yonke into iqhubeka ukonwabela ukuchwetheza njengencinci (ngeminwe elishumi, njengemikhulu. Akukho nto yakwenza nabo bangafundanga ngedijithali kunye neminwe yesalathisi ebukhali). I-placebo yodwa ezilawulayo phambi kwekhompyuter, ibona indlela abalinganiswa kunye nezicwangciso ezizalwa ngayo kwaye zife. Ukuba oko akuthethi ukuba ngumbhali ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na enye, uThixo uze atsho.
Kwaye ukuba incwadi yam igqityiwe kwaye awucingi ukuba yinto efanelekileyo yokufunda ngaphambi kokuba ufe, kuya kuba ngenxa yokuba uchithe ixesha elide phakathi kwamaphepha ayo. Kwaye emva koko uya kucinga ngokuyifunda kwakhona ukolula ixesha lakho lobomi libe yimizuzu emitsha ehlala ingunaphakade phakathi kwephepha kunye nephepha. Kwaye ke uya kundibulela ngokwandisa iintsuku zakho zokugqibela. Kwaye oko kuya kuba yeyona nto ityalwe imali eyi-5 ye-euro ebomini bakho.
Yenziwe? Ewe, njengoko i-ejaculator yangaphambi kwexesha endingazange ndidibane nayo inokuthi, yiloo nto. Namhlanje andinamdla wokuqhubeka ndikusondeza kwezona ncwadi zibalaseleyo kwimbali, mhlawumbi ngomso... Bon voyage.